Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
