even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
