Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
