its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
is it fun? or sober?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
