You really coming over, don't trick.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
