If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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