i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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