mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
