it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize