So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
