I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
