You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
