he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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