i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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