My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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