This girl is more easily done than said...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
