ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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