i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
