i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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