you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
