can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
