Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
