I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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