No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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