just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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