come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
