On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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