I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
