In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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