i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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