That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
