I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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