let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
