Walk of Shame. In a state park.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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