I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
