I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
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Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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