I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
