i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize