i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
