There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize