I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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