I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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