I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
