Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
