his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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