She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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