we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
smell my finger.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
