that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
