So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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