Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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