Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
