i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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