Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
