Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
