You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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