shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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