Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
