cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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