I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
