Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Two words: nipple clamps
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