I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize