I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
