Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
