Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
